


Have You Seen Me?

by Turtle_Fen



Category: KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, Minor Character Death, angst is all I know, clearly everyone's gonna have a great time, kidnap, lots of suffering for everyone, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:54:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28604781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turtle_Fen/pseuds/Turtle_Fen
Summary: When Kazuya goes missing, Jin blames himself. While he’s desperate to find Kazuya, Kazuya is desperate to stay alive.
Relationships: Akanishi Jin/Kamenashi Kazuya
Comments: 22
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this fic on my mind for a few years now, and the state of the world was the final push I needed to finally start writing it, I guess. I would say I'm sorry for starting my AO3 career with such heavy angst, but any of you who know me know that this is my M.O. and that I'm not sorry at all and that there'll just be more angst to come! Life is hectic and busy, but I'm gonna do my best to get updates out whenever I can. In fact, this was going to be a one-shot and posted all at once, but I figured making it a multi-chap might give me more motivation to finish it. If you want to talk to me about fics or see updates about how this is going, follow me on Twitter under the same username (@turtle_fen)! Also, the rating is Explicit because I'd rather be safe than sorry with the rating, and I think I've tagged everything but I might've missed something and have to add them along the way! Anyway... Enjoy!!

Michiko could remember the first time she’d brought Kazuya home as if it were yesterday. He’d been so small and fragile, but already so beautiful. She hadn’t been able to believe that she’d been able to create a whole human being, especially not one who was so perfect. By that point, he’d already been able to clutch onto her finger with more strength than she’d ever thought he would be able to muster.  
Bringing Kazuya home had been one of the happiest days of her life…and the day that Kazuya never came home would always be the worst.

~

Jin raced out of the front door, ignoring the sounds of his parents shouting and calling his name. He was already running late, and he didn’t want to make Kazuya wait around for him any longer than necessary. Especially when Kazuya was already in a bad mood with him for the exact same reason his parents were. Buying a motorcycle. Honestly, Jin didn’t understand what the problem was. He’d saved up and paid for it with his own money, and it wasn’t even a very powerful bike. But according to his parents, he was being irresponsible and reckless - especially considering that his plan for the evening was to take Kazuya for a ride. He hoped that it would help Kazuya warm up to the idea too, seeing as his boyfriend had already called him a dumbass for buying it.

Slamming the front door shut behind him, Jin bolted straight down the garden path. He was just off the property when the door opened and he heard his father yelling at him, telling him that he would be grounded until the day he moved out if he didn’t go back inside. But he was already five minutes late. Kazuya was going to bust his ass for making him stand around, waiting outside in the cold. So, choosing to pretend that he hadn’t heard that threat, Jin hopped onto the black motorbike outside of the house and pulled the helmet on over his head. Hopefully, once he was on the road, this strange, sinking feeling in his stomach would go away. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Maybe it was just because he knew about the lecture he’d get from Kazuya? And the one that he’d get from his parents once he got home? Whatever it was, he couldn’t get past the tight, sickening sensation sitting deep in his gut.

The further he drove, the sicker Jin felt. He’d never felt something like this before. His mother had often talked about having ‘intuition’, that she would know when something was wrong, but this was the first time that Jin believed her. Something felt profoundly wrong. Seeing the lights of the 7-11 that Kazuya worked at helped to alleviate Jin’s worries for a minute. Only for a minute though… The closer he got, the clearer he could see the shop front. Kazuya wasn’t outside. As Jin realised that, he could feel the strong, cold fingers of dread encircling his heart. Kazuya always waited outside for him. He tried to tell himself that it was nothing, that maybe Kazuya was waiting inside because it was too cold, or that he’d forgotten something, hell, maybe he’d just needed to pee. There had to be a perfectly normal explanation for it, and Jin knew that Kazuya was going to come out and laugh at him if he didn’t calm down.  
As Jin was pulling into the parking lot, a silver car came speeding out, heading straight towards him. Jin had to swerve a little so that it didn’t actually hit him, cursing under his breath as the bike nearly toppled over from the sudden change in direction. He’d managed to get a glimpse of the licence plate, and he did his best to commit it to his memory as he finally parked his motorbike. If he wasn’t in such a rush (and desperately trying to assuage his feelings of dread), he would be pissed about nearly being run over. But, for once, he couldn’t bring himself to focus on his anger.  
As Jin took off his helmet and hopped off his bike, he couldn’t help but notice that Kazuya _still_ wasn’t outside. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves and steady himself, before heading inside the store. Looking around, he couldn’t still couldn’t see his boyfriend. But that didn’t mean that Kazuya wasn’t there. Honestly, the store was pretty empty. No customers, and only one member of staff wandering the aisles. Jin instantly recognised the employee and made a beeline for the other boy.

“Hey, Koki,” he began, doing his best to keep his voice from shaking, “Have you seen Kazuya? I’m meant to pick him up here for a date.”  
The way that Koki frowned at his question did nothing to make Jin feel any better.

“Kame left already,” Koki replied. He placed the last item that he was unloading onto the shelf and turned to face Jin properly, “He clocked out about twenty minutes ago. He was pretty pissed though… Maybe he got sick of waiting and went home already? I’m guessing that you’re late...again.”

Jin pouted a little as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, ignoring the messages and missed calls from his parents as he muttered, “I’m not _that_ late.”  
He quickly selected Kazuya’s mother from his contacts and hit call. If Kazuya was actually mad at him, then there was no point in trying to call him directly, seeing as he would just ignore Jin’s calls. It wouldn’t be the first time.

 _“Jin?”_ Michiko answered, the confusion evident in her voice. Jin felt his heart clench. Either Kazuya hadn’t told her that he’d bailed, or Kazuya wasn’t at home either. _“Is everything okay?”_

“Yeah, yeah, I think so. Erm… Kazuya hasn’t come home, has he? Only, he’s not at work and I was meant to pick him up,” he explained, trying to make sure not to freak Michiko out. After all, he knew she was very protective of her son, and that the topic of something happening to Kazuya was a very sensitive thing for her.

 _“What? What do you mean he’s not there?”_ Michiko asked, a slight edge of hysteria beginning to creep into her voice more and more with each word, _“This isn’t funny, Jin. Kazuya’s not home. He told me that you were picking him up, and that he was going to be home late tonight.”_

“Okay, maybe he’s on his way home and I just missed him,” Jin suggested to try and comfort the woman, “I’ll try calling him now. B-But, let’s just say he doesn’t pick up… What should I do? I don’t know what to do, Michiko.”

_“I… Jin… M-Maybe he’s with Koki? Or Tomohisa? He has to be with **someone** , he can’t have just disappeared. Call them. He’s with one of your friends, he has to be. Kazuya wouldn’t just leave without telling someone.”_

Jin nodded as he looked over at Koki. Well, Kazuya obviously wasn’t with his best friend. That really only left Tomohisa. There was no-one else Kazuya would’ve gone to at the last minute like this. He took a deep breath before assuring Michiko that Kazuya would be okay, and then hung up.  
He was holding onto his phone so tightly that his knuckles were white, and it felt as if the room around him was spinning. Jin had been almost certain that Kazuya would’ve gone home to Michiko… But he hadn’t. And now Jin couldn’t help but fear that something truly awful had happened.

“Jin,” Koki began, snapping the other out of his thoughts, “Hey, what did she say, man? Is Kame home or not?”

“He’s not, no. I-I’m gonna call him, okay? Can you call Pi, see if he or Ryo have heard from Kazuya?”

“...And if neither of them have? If he doesn’t pick up either?” Koki asked, his voice trembling ever so slightly. He knew what Jin was going to say, and all he could do was pray that they wouldn’t have to try that alternative.

“We call the cops,” Jin replied simply, his mind busily working to stay as detached from that option as possible. They wouldn’t need to call the cops because Kazuya was going to answer the phone, or Tomohisa would say that Kazuya had been with him this whole time. Kazuya was safe. He had to be.  
Both boys quickly set about dialling numbers, and Jin’s eyes stayed fixed on Koki the entire time that the line for Kazuya’s phone rang. Tomohisa had picked up pretty quickly, and Jin was trying to focus on what Koki was saying to distract himself from the repetitive ringing in his ear. Kazuya never took this long to pick up the phone. All Jin could hope was that his boyfriend wasn’t answering because he was with Tomohisa, and that the other was explaining whatever was happening to Koki.

Then Koki hung up. He shook his head. Kazuya’s voicemail message began to play. He was gone.

~

Jin bolted upright in his bed, his heart thundering against his ribcage as he gasped for breath. His entire body was covered in a cold sweat and he felt like he was about to throw up. It had been four years already, but the nightmares wouldn’t stop. Nothing made them go away. It didn’t matter what drugs the doctors gave him, how much he drank… He kept dreaming about that night. Or what might’ve happened to his boyfriend. Four years with no leads or evidence to point the cops in the right direction had given Jin’s mind plenty of time to think about an endless amount of terrible things that could’ve happened to Kazuya. All because he was late. If he’d just been there when he said he would, then Kazuya would never have disappeared. Kazuya would’ve graduated. Kazuya would’ve gone to university. Kazuya would be with Jin. It didn’t matter what anyone said to him, how many people told him that there was no way he could’ve known, Jin blamed himself. He should’ve been there for Kazuya. If people knew the whole truth, they would blame him too. That was why he had never told anyone but the police that Kazuya had felt like someone had been following him for around a week before he went missing. Back then, Jin thought that Kazuya was just being paranoid. After all, Kazuya had his quirks, and feeling like people were around when no-one was had always been one of those. He’d tried telling himself that it didn’t mean anything, that the cops hadn’t even believed him anyway. But, honestly, Jin hadn’t wanted to believe Kazuya himself. He didn’t want to believe that there was a warning sign blasting right in his face the whole time. He couldn’t handle any more blame, even if it was only from himself.

Rubbing his bleary eyes, Jin looked around the room surrounding him, only to see that everything was still bathed in darkness. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand to check the time, sighing heavily when he saw that it was just gone half past three in the morning. If he’d gone to sleep at a reasonable time, maybe it wouldn’t have felt so bad, but he’d only been sleeping for an hour, tops. Jin couldn’t remember the last time that he’d had a good night’s sleep. Every single night, Kazuya kept him awake. If he ever managed to fall asleep, nightmares would just wake him up anyway. At least tonight it was just memories, not his overactive imagination painting a gruesome picture of Kazuya dead in a ditch somewhere. Honestly, the fear that Kazuya had died was the worst part of having no idea what had happened. If Kazuya was truly… _gone_...then it was unlikely they’d ever find him, and the idea of that made Jin feel sick to his stomach. At least he could hold on to the tiny hope that Kazuya was alive out there somewhere. That was better than no hope at all. He didn’t want to think about what Kazuya could be going through if he was still alive, but, _God_ , he didn’t think that he could survive in a world where Kazuya didn’t exist anymore.

Not even stopping to think about the time, Jin quickly selected Tomohisa’s phone number from his contacts and hit dial. He put the phone on speaker straight away, chewing on his bottom lip until he tasted blood as he waited for his friend to pick up the phone.

 _“Jin…?”_ Tomohisa replied groggily, his voice rough with sleep. Unlike Jin, Tomohisa hadn’t spent the last four years lying awake every night. Despite that, he _was_ used to being the one that Jin would call at all hours, _“S’up? Another nightmare?”_

“What if the car that nearly hit me that night had Kazuya in it? The cops said it could’ve. What if I was _that_ close to saving him? If I’d never bought that bike, I wouldn’t’ve even been late in the first place. I would’ve been there to pick him up. Pi, what if it was really my fault?” Jin instantly began to ramble, barely even stopping to catch his breath. He asked these questions all the time, and Tomohisa always said it wasn’t because of him. That wasn’t the answer he wanted. He wanted to be blamed. He wanted everyone to hate him as much as he hated himself.

_“You had no idea what was going to happen that night. You would’ve done something about it if you had. Kame was safe at work, as far as you knew. The fact that no-one saw or heard anything… Well, the cops already said that they were pretty sure it was someone Kame knew, for him to go without a fight. Because we all know that, if Kame thought he was in danger, he would’ve fought like hell. Maybe, if you’d been there, they would’ve taken you too, or worse, because maybe you would’ve recognised them. This was **not** your fault. The only person to blame is whoever took Kame.”_

“Or, maybe, if I’d been there, Kazuya would’ve come home that night,” Jin shot back, “None of us know what could’ve happened that night if I’d been there when I was supposed to be! It’s been four years, I get it, but I can’t just forget about him.” He took a deep, shaky breath, desperately trying to calm himself down, “He is…was… Pi, Kazuya is my best friend, we grew up together… I was the only person he wanted to be around when his father died... He’s my soulmate, and now he’s gone. If Ryo had gone missing, maybe you’d be able to understand how I feel.”

 _“I know how much you love him, but… This isn’t want Kame would’ve wanted,”_ Tomohisa replied softly, doing his best not to upset Jin any further, _“I’m not telling you that you need to date someone else or move on like that, I’m just asking you to try and think about other things. Kame wouldn’t want you to waste your life wallowing and blaming yourself. You’re killing yourself with this, Jin. Please, we’ve lost Kame already, we can’t lose you too.”_

Jin simply nodded to himself, sniffling back his tears as he tried to comprehend what Tomohisa had said to him. Whenever people had told him to move on before, it had always seemed like they only meant romantically. This was the first time that someone had told him it was okay to miss Kazuya, to still love him, but that his life could still go on. It wouldn’t be easy, and it wasn’t necessarily something that he wanted to do, but…it was nice to know that maybe he had more options that he had originally thought.  
“Thank you, Pi… I think I needed to hear that. I… I’m sorry that I woke you up again. I won’t call next time, I need to try and work through this myself. Maybe if I face it properly, I can accept what happened.”

_“If you need me, of course you can call me. I know that none of us know what this has been like for you, but healing takes time. You’re not alone, Jin.”_

Closing his eyes, Jin took in a deep, shaky breath. Tomohisa was right. He needed to let people around him actually be there for him and help him. Ever since Kazuya had gone missing, Jin had been pushing everyone else away. He didn’t deserve their help, and he didn’t want their sympathy. But maybe Tomohisa was onto something, maybe letting people in would make everything hurt just a little bit less. He didn’t have to go through all of this alone. That didn’t stop one thing weighing heavily on his mind though. Wherever Kazuya was, whatever had been happening to him for the past four years, he was alone. There was no-one to help Kazuya.

~

It was only a few hours later when Jin officially woke up to start his day. He didn’t have any classes until the afternoon, but one of his professors had asked to have a meeting with him at eleven. Honestly, Jin wasn’t sure what it could be about. His teacher hadn’t told him, and he’d tried to think of what it could be, but he had nothing. It couldn’t be about his grades or his coursework because those were all fine. So was his attendance. There was really nothing he could think of that was worth talking about.

Despite not being sure of what was going on, Jin found himself waiting outside of his professor’s office almost half an hour early. He let himself slide down the wall until he hit the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest as he stared down at the half-empty takeaway coffee cup in his hand. Not that he would admit it, but this was actually his second cup of coffee already. But that was what happened when he couldn’t sleep any later than five-thirty and was running on about three hours’ worth of broken sleep. Remembering about this meeting had made sleeping even harder. It wasn’t that he was nervous about it, it was more that it made him think about Kazuya. How Kazuya should be at university with him. That Kazuya was the one who wanted to go to university more than he ever had. About the day that Kazuya helped him to figure out what he wanted to study, and the lecture he gave Jin about how he needed to focus in classes and get his grades up so that they could go together. He also remembered telling Kazuya that he wanted to study astronomy because he wanted to do the same course as Kazuya... Damn, his boyfriend hadn’t liked that. Space and stars had always been a passion for Kazuya, and he made it very clear that it was his thing and he wanted Jin to find his own path. It had pissed him off at first, but it didn’t take long for him to realise that Kazuya was right. So he applied to study English and English literature, and he’d been more than surprised when he got in. Kazuya hadn’t been surprised at all, in fact, he’d been bordering on smug as he told Jin ‘I told you there was something better for you’.  
Letting his head fall back against the wall, Jin closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath to try and hold back the tears that were filling his eyes. Kazuya was meant to be here with him.

Jin had just about managed to compose himself when the office door opened and his professor stepped out. It took the man a moment to spot Jin on the floor and, when he did, he simply frowned as he asked, “Any reason you’re sitting down there rather than in a chair?”

“There are chairs?” Jin asked, still half-stuck in his memories. He looked from side to side, cringing a little bit when he saw the soft armchairs barely a few feet to his right. Evidently he’d been too tired to even manage to see them. At least, that would be the reason he’d go with if anyone asked how he missed them.

Sighing heavily, the professor held his office door open and took a step out of the way as Jin scrambled onto his feet. Not even knowing why, Jin apologised as he scurried into the office, very deliberately looking for a chair to sit in this time.  
He sat down in the chair on the outside of the desk, waiting for his professor to sit down opposite him before hesitantly asking, “Why did you want to see me, Professor Kimura? Was there something wrong with my assignment?”

“Your assignment is perfectly fine, Akanishi,” Kimura said, giving the young man a reassuring smile, “I actually wanted to talk to you about the year abroad. The applications have nearly closed, and I noticed that I didn’t see your name on the list yet. I know that leaving mid-way through the year seems strange, but don’t let that put you off. You’re one of the best students on the course, and I think you’d really enjoy America.”

“Oh, that...” Jin murmured as he looked down at his lap. His hands started to shake ever so slightly as he picked at the skin around his nails, trying to figure out how on earth he was meant to explain why he was ignoring such a fantastic opportunity.

Kimura instantly noticed the change in Jin’s mood and, rather than pushing for an immediate answer, he continued, “Is it about money? I know that your family isn’t exactly rich, so I can see why that would be a concern for you. There are things that the university can do to help fund the year in America for you, and I would be more than happy to give you a personal recommendation to help make sure you got it.”

“It’s not about the money,” Jin explained quietly, “I... You... You’ve heard about the Kamenashi case, right?”

“Of course, everyone has,” Kimura replied with a nod, “A high school boy went missing without a trace from outside of his part-time job. The police chased down every lead they could find, but everything led to more and more questions and deadends. It was, what, about four years ago now?”

Jin chuckled shakily, “That’s the one. Kazuya... Kazuya is my best friend, my boyfriend. I can’t leave. I know they haven’t found any new leads recently, but I can’t be halfway across the world if they find something. If they find _him_. I need to be in Tokyo.” He finally looked up, making eye contact with his teacher. Surprisingly, Jin found that he was met with a very understanding (if not a somewhat disappointed) gaze, “That’s why I can’t go. I really appreciate how much support you’re offering, but... I have to be here for Kazuya.”

“When you put it like that, it’s hard for me to argue,” Kimura replied, offering Jin a slight smile, “Just think about it one more time before you say no, okay? Chances like this don’t come around very often, and I’m sure that your boyfriend would want you to think about your future.”

As much as Jin didn’t want to admit it, he knew that Kimura was right. He could almost hear Kazuya’s voice in his ear, telling him to stop being such a damn idiot and just go. But then he thought about being in America, getting a call... Being told that Kazuya was gone. Even if he was in Japan, that would crush him, but if he was so far away and had no-one around him to stop him...he knew that he would do something stupid. So, it wasn’t just Kazuya that he was staying for, he was also staying for himself.  
Mustering up the closest thing to a smile that he could manage, Jin stood up from his seat, “Thank you, Professor Kimura. Have a nice day.”

~

In a dark attic room, Kazuya slowly awoke. His vision was blurry, and his eyelids were heavy with sleep. Even if he squinted, he could barely make out the shape of anything else in the room. Not that there was much to see in the stretching darkness. At one point, there had been furniture in this room, it had been purposefully designed for his comfort. But he’d ruined that each and every time he had made his captor angry. Once he’d had a bed, and now he just had a thin mattress on the floor and a blanket so full of holes that Kazuya questioned whether it could even be _called_ a blanket anymore. He didn’t even have a pillow. The blanket was threadbare, and it made Kazuya’s skin burn with itches, but it was far more pleasant than going without on cold winter nights... Or was it days? There were no windows, and the only clock in the room had broken a long time ago - left behind to deliberately taunt Kazuya. He had no awareness of the passage of time, no way to know how long it had been since he had been taken. He, and the attic, were locked in a never-ending, never changing day.

Pushing himself up from his makeshift bed, Kazuya made his way over to the lamp that sat beside the opposite wall. He could only hope that the batteries hadn’t died, otherwise he would have to sit in the dark until his captor came back to see him again. Kazuya hated the dark. It reminded him of that night. It had been so dark and cold outside, and he should’ve just walked away. He should’ve gone back inside and waited for Jin to come.

Jin. Who was that? Kazuya knew that the person attached to the name meant something to him. A lot, even. But he could barely remember Jin’s face or voice, no matter how hard he tried. He could only see Jin clearly in his dreams. He remembered blaming Jin at one point. Why hadn’t Jin been there? Why didn’t Jin protect him like he promised he always would? But at some point, it became more important for Kazuya to cling onto the feelings of warmth and safety that came to him whenever he thought of Jin. And it was with thoughts of Jin that he shuffled back over to his bed. Plopping himself down in the centre of the mattress, Kazuya wrapped the blanket around himself as best he could, doing his best to shield himself from the chilling air. Luckily the lamp was working, but the light it gave was so faint that it barely made a difference. At least it meant that he wasn’t in complete darkness anymore, and it meant that he could see that the water bottle and plate of food that his captor left for him hadn’t been refilled. It wasn’t until he saw the bare plate that Kazuya realised how hungry he was. How long had it been since he’d eaten? His stomach felt completely empty, and it immediately began to rumble after that realisation. As much as he dreaded his captor coming to see him, Kazuya found himself longing to see the man just so that he could eat. The food never came without a cost, but all he wanted in that moment was something to eat.

As if on cue, the door in the floor of the attic dropped open and Kazuya heard a ladder clicking into place. It was a sound that he’d come to know far too well, and he always had mixed feelings when he heard it. He hated how a part of him had become dependent on the attention that his captor would give him, but he knew that the man’s obsession with him was the only thing that was keeping him alive. Once he heard the footsteps reaching the top of the stairs, Kazuya let the blanket fall from his body. He kept his gaze firmly fixed on the hole in the floor, waiting until he saw a man begin to enter through it. This man was the only person that Kazuya had seen in… well, he didn’t even know how long it had been since he’d seen another person. Kazuya hated him. But some tiny part of him looked forward to these meetings, to not being alone for a little while, no matter what happened to him.

“Hello Kazuya, how’re you feeling?” The man asked, his voice soft and gentle as he cautiously approached Kazuya. Recently, he had been reminded of the fragile nature of his captive, and he wanted to make sure that he didn’t prompt another bad reaction from the boy.

Instinctively, Kazuya found that he was curling into himself. His knees were pressed firmly against his chest, his arms clutching onto them tightly. His eyes were fixed on the man as he grew closer and closer, and he had to force himself not to back away, “I… It’s cold, Master.”

“I know,” Master cooed as he ran his fingers through Kazuya’s hair, frowning briefly when they got caught in knots and tangles. He sighed quietly to himself before continuing, “Besides, Kazuya, you know that you did this to yourself. I had such a nice room for you, and you used it to try and get away from me. Remember? I explained this to you. I can’t trust you anymore, so I had to take things away.”

“I’m sorry, Master,” Kazuya murmured, looking down at his bare feet. He hated how he felt guilty, he hated the way that this man could make him believe that everything was his own fault. That he deserved this, somehow, “I won’t do it again. Can I… Couldn’t I please just have some socks? My feet are so cold…”

Using his hold on Kazuya’s hair, Master jerked the boy’s head up with more force than was necessary. He bit back a grin at the sound of Kazuya hissing in pain and forced the boy to look at him, “If you want that privilege back, I suggest you earn it. After everything I’ve done for you, you’re really going to be so ungrateful? I _saved_ you by bringing you here. Your mother didn’t love you, she hated the way that you reminded her of your father. Your boyfriend didn’t love you, he just knew that _you_ loved _him_ and he used that to get whatever he wanted from you.”  
He could see the tears beginning to fill up Kazuya’s eyes, the pain burning behind them made his heart skip a beat. Kazuya always looked so beautiful when he was suffering, especially when he was trying to hide it, trying to pretend that he was braver or stronger than he really was. Master finally let himself smile as he whispered, “And you know that. You’ve always known that. No-one ever loved you like I do. Even your own father killed himself to get away from you.”

That last comment all but dried Kazuya’s unfallen tears, replacing the pain with sheer rage instead. If there was one thing that Kazuya would never doubt, it was that Ryunosuke had loved him. Before his death, Ryunosuke absolutely doted on Kazuya. His son had been his entire world, and Kazuya had never felt anything but pure love from his father. So this man telling him that was wrong was more than Kazuya was willing to tolerate.  
Within seconds, he had tackled Master down onto the floor, desperately trying to claw at the man’s face. All he could see was red, and any affection he had felt for Master had disappeared. All he wanted to do was punish the man who had taken him and locked him away.  
“You’re lying!” Kazuya cried, trying his best to keep Master pinned down on his back. But he was weak. He hadn’t eaten properly in years, he hadn’t been given any chance to keep his body strong, and he couldn’t resist for long. Before he knew it, he was the one on his back, Master’s hand wrapped around his wrists, pressing them down against the floor.

“Kazuya!” Master snapped, slamming the boy’s hands against the floor just for good measure. He climbed atop of Kazuya’s trembling body, letting the weight of his body press down on the other. Kazuya’s discomfort was written all over his face, but Master didn’t care. He brought his free hand crashing down against Kazuya’s cheek, forcing the boy’s head to whip to the side and slam against the floor. But Kazuya didn’t cry out, he didn’t scream. He simply lay silent and shaking underneath Master. The fire behind his eyes was gone, there was no spark, hell, there was no life there anymore.  
Releasing Kazuya’s wrists, Master sat back a little so that he could look down at the boy properly. Yes, Kazuya was behaving now, being obedient, but Master wondered if he’d pushed a little bit too far. After all, Master had been forced to empty the room after Kazuya’s attempt to take his own life, so perhaps mentioning Ryunosuke hadn’t been his smartest decision so far. He sighed and leaned back down to gently turn Kazuya’s face so that the boy was looking at him again, “I’m sorry, Kazuya. I shouldn’t’ve said that to you, it was unworthy of me. I think we both need some time to calm down.” He slowly stood up and backed away from Kazuya, “In a few hours, I’ll come back to bring you some food, okay? When I come back, I would appreciate it if you would apologise to me for what you just did.”

Kazuya didn’t say anything, didn’t acknowledge Master’s words, he just stared up at the ceiling. If Jin was here, Master would never hurt him. If Jin was here, he would be safe.  
He heard Master’s footsteps growing quieter and quieter, and there was a moment of silence before he heard the door click shut again. He stayed where he was and simply rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, willing himself to dream of Jin and the life they could’ve shared...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while, but chapter 2 is finally ready! I managed to write a lot of it when I was off work with Miss Rona, and it was so nearly done ......and then I went back to work and I lost all of my energy. But I kept slugging away, and here we are! In this chapter, we get to meet Kame's mother officially and meet someone that Jin doesn't like At All. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'm looking forward to seeing your thoughts in the comments!!

Kazuya wasn’t sure how long it had been since Master had left, but it had felt a lot longer than just a few hours. He wished the clock worked, he wished that he had some way to keep track of time. But he knew Master didn’t want him to. Master didn’t want Kazuya to know how long he’d been gone for, but Kazuya wasn’t an idiot. He’d been able to see the way that his malnourished body had been changing, progressing from being a teenager into being a man. He knew that he’d been gone longer than he would ever want to admit to himself. Kazuya knew that Jin had probably moved on, that his friends had forgotten him. The only person who he couldn’t bring himself to doubt was his mother. Michiko was still looking for him - someone had to be. She would never have given up on him, he knew that. And, in a way, that hurt more than thinking that she’d accepted that he was gone. The thought of her wasting the rest of her life searching for him when Master would never let him be found broke his heart. Especially after she had trusted Master so much. They both had…

By the time the door to the attic opened again, Kazuya was almost completely lost in his thoughts. Thoughts of his mother, thoughts of desperately trying to remember Jin’s face, or the sound of Koki’s voice. Anything to try and trick himself into thinking that this was just a terrible nightmare, that he was going to wake up and be back home and sixteen again. It wasn’t until there was a loud thud right in front of him that he came back to the real world.  
His eyes immediately darted down to the plate of food that had been dropped in front of him, but he quickly looked up to his Master. He’d learned not to grab the food straight away, Master had taught him that he needed to wait. Sometimes he would be allowed to eat, sometimes he had to earn it first. He never knew which it would be until Master told him.

“Eat,” Master instructed before sitting on the ground opposite Kazuya, “Today, you can eat.”

Kazuya hesitated, eyeing Master wearily. This had to be a trick. Master had been so angry at him before. Why was he being so kind to him now? But, when the man simply nodded, Kazuya cautiously reached out to pick up the slice of bread in front of him. He slowly started to nibble at the crust, his gaze never leaving Master’s.

“You still eat the way you did when you were a child,” Master said with a smile, visibly relaxing now that Kazuya had begun to eat. His eyes were full of warmth and affection, and it made Kazuya’s stomach churn, “Like a little squirrel. It’s no wonder you always stayed so slender. But you did it on purpose, didn’t you? You knew I was looking at you, you wanted me to take you away. I could always tell that what you really wanted was me.”

Fighting the urge to gag at Master’s words, Kazuya let his gaze drop back down to the plate, focusing on seeing what other food Master had brought. An apple, some cheese, one little piece of chocolate. Master often brought Kazuya chocolate when he was being kind. Master had even brought him a flower today. A single white rose, standing proud in a small vase, just large enough to hold one flower. Kazuya had always loved roses, especially white ones. His mother used to give them to him when he was a child, and she always told him about how beautiful and pure they were. Just like he had been.

“I still don’t understand what you saw in that Akanishi boy,” Master sighed, shaking his head a little before reaching out to graze Kazuya’s cheek with the tips of his fingers, “Sure, he was a good-looking boy back then, very charismatic too, but… _God_ , the temper on that boy. He was such a nightmare. I never liked him, right from the moment that I met him.”

Swallowing the bread that he’d been chewing, Kazuya quietly asked, “Back then…? What do you mean? Have you seen Jin? Is he okay? Is he…?” _Is he looking for me?_

Master hummed as he mulled over what exactly to tell Kazuya. How much to tell the truth, how much to lie. What to half-lie about. He trailed his fingers over Kazuya’s lips as he answered, “I see him from time to time, usually when I’m visiting your mother. Michiko so appreciates my visits, my concern and sympathy about your disappearance. Akanishi… He’s less pleased to see me. He used to like me nearly as much as you did, so that hurts my feelings a little bit. But he’s fine, he’s doing perfectly well without you. In fact, he never even mentions you anymore. I think he only visits Michiko because he feels guilty, like it’s some obligation to make up for the fact that he was _so close_ to stopping me from bringing you here.”

Kazuya tried his hardest not to let any real emotion show on his face as he took in what Master had said. Jin didn’t love him anymore, he’d moved on. That was what Kazuya had wanted. So why did it feel wrong? Why did it make him feel sick to the very core of his being?  
“I’m glad he’s doing okay,” Kazuya forced himself to say, even managing to muster up a smile to go with it, “He’s happy, that’s all I wanted for him…”

“A little too happy if you ask me,” Master chuckled, not missing the way that Kazuya’s voice had been straining. He moved to sit next to Kazuya on the mattress, bringing an arm around the boy’s shoulders to hold him close. He felt Kazuya tense up at his touch, but he chose to ignore it this time, “Always drinking, out all night. His parents worry about him sometimes. But I always knew that Akanishi was destined to waste his life. Some people just have no potential.”

“You’re wrong, Jin was never like that,” Kazuya argued, staring Master dead in the eyes, “He always had potential. I don’t believe that you never saw that. Everyone saw it.”

Master rolled his eyes, tightening his grip on Kazuya’s shoulders to gently remind the other of his place, “It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done. You can’t do anything about Akanishi’s life now - you have no place in his life anymore. You have no place in any of their lives. And I don’t want you asking me any questions about Akanishi ever again, are we clear?”

Kazuya nodded, letting Master hold him close. He ignored the way that he could feel Master’s lips brushing against his ear, he knew that they wouldn’t stay there long. What happened next entirely depended on what he said. Neither of the options would be pleasant for him, but one was slightly more tolerable than the other, “Yes, Master. Thank you for telling me that he’s okay, I won’t talk about Jin again.”

“Good boy,” Master cooed, his hand sliding down to wrap around Kazuya’s waist. His fingers toyed with the thin material of the boy’s shirt as he murmured, “I’ve been so good to you today, see what happens when you’re a good boy? Don’t you think that you should thank me?”

“Yes, Master,” Kazuya repeated, looking at the rose to distract himself from the way that he felt Master’s hands moving across his body. He tried not to let himself feel Master touching all of the places that had once only been for Jin. Skin on skin, brushing, stroking, the caress of clothes passing over his skin, the chill of the cold air having nothing to hold it back anymore. He was being laid down, his legs spread, a weight pressing down on top of him. But none of it _felt_ real, it hadn’t in a long time now. All that was real was that single white rose. Just as Kazuya felt his entire body being invaded, a solitary petal fell from its friends and danced to the ground.

~

Jin couldn’t understand why Kenji was still hanging around Michiko. It had been around three years since they had broken up, and the man had supposedly moved on. But, for a man with a new girlfriend, he still seemed very interested in staying close to Michiko. Jin hated how often the man would try to talk about Kazuya, it was as if he didn’t know what else to talk about other than memories of when the boy had been with them. At first, Jin thought that maybe it was Kenji’s way of coping with what had happened. After all, Kenji had become like a second father to Kazuya after he started dating Michiko. No-one could’ve ever replaced Ryunosuke for Kazuya, but Kenji came pretty damn close. He would always go to Kazuya’s baseball matches, any kind of school event, he would constantly bail him out of whatever trouble he’d ended up getting into by trying to keep Jin out of trouble. They really had been like father and son, which was why Jin had accepted that Kazuya’s disappearance would’ve been hard on the man. But the way that the man was still so fixated on Kazuya and Michiko… It was like he’d lost his own child.

“So, your father told me that you have the chance to go and study in America,” Michiko said as she handed Jin a cup of tea. She sat down on the couch and gave him a small, sad smile, “Kazuya would be so proud of you.”

“Kazuya always wanted you to do well at university, I bet he’d be so happy for you if he was here to see this,” Kenji added, not noticing the way that Jin glared back at him.

Choosing to ignore the fact that Kenji had even spoken, Jin focused on Kazuya’s mother instead. It had taken him a long time to be able to bring himself to visit the woman after Kazuya’s disappearance. Partially because he blamed himself for what happened, but also because Kazuya was so much like his mother and Jin hadn’t been able to face that. It was still hard some days, but Jin made a point of trying to visit her at least once a month to make sure that she was doing okay. Kazuya would want his mother to be okay, so Jin had taken it upon himself to make sure that Michiko was safe, healthy, and as happy as she could be, having lost everyone she loved.  
“I’m guessing that my dad also told you that I’m not going to go?” Jin asked, fully able to read the knowing look in Michiko’s eyes.

“He did, yes,” she said with a nod, chuckling quietly before continuing, “Eiji also asked me to try and change your mind, as if you were going to listen to me. We all know that there’s no changing your mind once it’s made up. And I know why you want to stay.”

“Going away like that just wouldn’t feel right, not while Kazuya’s still gone,” Jin murmured, his fingers trailing around the rim of his cup. This was why he had come to see Michiko, even though he knew his parents would’ve asked her to change his mind. She understood. She was the only person who still felt the same pain that he did.

“Kazuya would want you to go,” Kenji pointed out with a frown. He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair, “He wouldn’t want you to miss out on a chance like this because you were waiting for him. We don’t even know when he’ll come back home.”

Not trusting himself to be holding anything breakable, Jin put the cup down on the coffee table in front of him before turning his head to look at Kenji, “Did I ask for your opinion? I don’t think I did, so how about you butt the hell out of this conversation?”

“You might not have asked for my opinion, but you need to hear it. Your parents are right to want you to take this opportunity, you’re not gonna get another chance like this, Jin,” Kenji shot back, “Michiko just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you what a stupid decision you’re making.”

Jin groaned and rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down. Sadly, it didn’t really work the way that he’d hoped it would, “Why’re you even here?!” He snapped, “You’re not Kazuya’s father, you’re not even Michiko’s boyfriend anymore! You shouldn’t even be here, so what right do you have to judge me?!”

“I was there for Kazuya since he was seven years old, so don’t you dare say that I shouldn’t be here! We might not be related by blood, but that boy was my son!” Kenji argued, getting up out of his chair to make his way over to Jin. He looked down at Jin, rage oozing out of his every pore as he hissed, “I love Kazuya, I couldn’t have loved him more if he was my own. You know that, and you know that Michiko and I didn’t split because we don’t care for each other, but that because losing Kazuya was too much for either of us to bear.”

“What I know is that you were pretty quick to replace both of them,” Jin replied bitterly, smirking a little. He knew it was a low blow, but he didn’t care. It was yet another thing that he didn’t like about Kenji. It was yet another thing that made Jin suspicious of Michiko’s now ex-boyfriend.

~

_Jin chewed anxiously on the nail of his thumb as he waited in the police station. He was worried that he would get told off for wasting their time, but he just had a bad feeling about what he’d heard. It had been instinct that had brought him to the station, and it had taken a while to build up the nerve to go inside to speak to the detectives working Kazuya’s case. He’d been asked to wait in an interview room while someone went to fetch the lead detective on the case, Okada Junichi._

_It felt like he’d been waiting for hours before the door opened and Junichi finally walked in, his younger partner, ‘call me Tackey!’, following closely behind. As soon as they walked in, Jin began to wonder if he’d made a mistake by coming. Maybe he was just overreacting… But it all felt so wrong, so disgusting, and he didn’t understand why he was the only person who thought that the police needed to know this information._

_“I wasn’t expecting to see you today, Jin,” Junichi said as he and Tackey sat opposite the boy. At first they’d all been on a last name basis, but after seeing each other for three years now whilst Kazuya’s case was investigated, they’d grown past that._

_Jin nodded and let out a shaky chuckle, barely able to keep his hands steady, “Yeah… I wasn’t planning on coming, but I found something out and I don’t know if it has anything to do with Kazuya, but it just… It feels **off** , y’know?”_

_Placing a notebook on the table in front of him, Junichi took a pen from his pocket and offered Jin a reassuring smile, “Well, there’s only one way to find out. Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you, and we’ll go from there?”_

_“Okay, yeah, that’s good, yeah,” Jin mumbled, nodding to himself as he continued, “Kenji’s freaking me out. Y’know, Kazuya’s kind of stepdad? Him. Anyway, he and Kazuya’s mum broke up, which is totally fine, but now… Now he’s got a new girlfriend, which is also fine, except… She’s a single mother, with a little boy. Seven years old, just like Kazuya was when Kenji started seeing Michiko. It just… Something about it feels gross. What if he took Kazuya, and he’s getting ready to do the same thing to this little boy?”_

_Junichi had been busy taking notes as Jin spoke, and looked up at the boy once he’d finished speaking. He sighed quietly, “I admit, it seems a little strange. It could just be that he’s trying to replace what he lost, but you’re right that it does seem a bit suspicious. But, Jin, he has an alibi for the night Kazuya went missing. He was one of the first people we suspected. With the time he left work, it would’ve been almost impossible for him to have taken Kazuya.”_

_“ **Almost** impossible,” Jin quickly pointed out, “Which means that there’s a small chance that it could’ve been him. If he’d planned it before he took Kazuya, of course he would’ve made sure his alibi was as solid as it could possibly be. **Please** , just look into him one more time. What other leads have you got?”_

_“None,” Junichi admitted, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He was silent for a moment before opening his eyes once more, “Okay. We’ll look into him again, but I don’t think we’ll find anything on him. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.”_

_In a way, Jin felt like he’d betrayed Kenji, especially with how fond he used to be of the man. But if Kenji was really the person who had taken Kazuya, then he was the true traitor._

~

“Jin, you’re better than this,” Michiko gently chastised, placing her hand on the forearm of the boy sitting next to her. She looked up at Kenji, “Maybe you should head home now. I need to talk to Jin.”

It was clear that Kenji wanted to argue with Michiko’s request but, not wanting to give Jin any more ammunition against him, he simply grunted in agreement before turning on his heels to head out of the room and the house. Once they were alone, Michiko took her hand off Jin’s arm and stood up to walk towards a shelf filled with photographs. When she simply stared at the pictures, standing solemn and unspeaking, Jin got to his feet and made his way over to join her.

“Life used to be so simple, didn’t it?” She asked quietly, turning away from the photos to look at Jin with tear-filled eyes, “I know that it’s hard now, I do… But being so angry with everyone won’t bring Kazuya home.” She took a deep, trembling breath to try and stop her tears from falling, “I don’t have anything but waiting until the day Kazuya is found, but you’re young. You should be living. Kazuya wouldn’t be angry at you for that, and I know that you wouldn’t be forgetting him if you did that. At the very least, let go of your anger before it turns you into someone that Kazuya wouldn’t recognise.”

Jin bit his lower lip, keeping his gaze firmly fixed on a photograph of him with Kazuya when they were both no more than five years old. Their mothers had taken them to the beach together even though it had been winter, and they were both soaking wet. Jin could remember how cold he’d been that day, he could remember the sound of Kazuya laughing while his teeth were chattering. He remembered Kazuya running away with his towel, how he’d spent ten minutes trying to catch the younger boy with their mothers yelling at both of them to dry off before they caught colds. Michiko was right - life really did used to be simple.  
“You’re right, but… I don’t trust Kenji,” Jin murmured, shaking his head a little, “He just makes me feel uneasy now.”

“He feels the same way about you,” Michiko said, smiling a little when Jin looked at her with wide eyes, “Did you really think he didn’t figure out who went to the police a year ago? He always knew it was you. It hurt him, to know that you thought he was capable of hurting Kazuya. I understand why you did it though. Neither of us blame you, but Kenji doesn’t know how to be around you anymore. I’ve been trying to fix that, which obviously hasn’t worked yet. But Kenji didn’t hurt Kazuya. Kenji always loved my boy, right from the day they met.”

“And you don’t think that any of that is suspicious?” Jin asked incredulously.

“No. Kenji didn’t do this, Jin. If he did, why would he have stayed in our lives even after all this time? If he’d taken Kazuya or hurt him, surely he would’ve left at some point to cover his tracks.”

Jin snorted and rolled his eyes, “Unless he’s _staying_ to cover his tracks. No-one would expect the person who took Kazuya to stick around, having tea with you.”

At that comment Michiko turned away from Jin and began to make her way towards the kitchen, “Did you eat lunch yet? I could make you something.”

Sensing that he’d hit a nerve, Jin cringed a little. He always hated saying the wrong thing to Michiko. It was his fault that her son was gone, after all. The least he could do was mind his words and make sure that he didn’t cause her any more pain.  
“If it’s no trouble, sure,” he replied, forcing his voice to sound as cheerful as possible, “Maybe I could fix that broken bookcase in your bedroom while you do it?”

“That would be lovely, thank you Jin,” Michiko said, smiling back at Jin. The smile didn’t reach her eyes, and Jin could tell that as soon as he went upstairs, the woman would start to cry. She hadn’t cried in front of him for a long time now. Just as he didn’t cry in front of her. They both wanted to put on a brave face for the sake of the other.

“I’ll just be upstairs then!” He chirped, keeping up a smile until he turned his back to Michiko. He slowly made his way up the stairs, barely reaching the top step when he heard a soft sob coming from downstairs.

~  
Master had been coming to see Kazuya more frequently. It wasn’t like Kazuya had any way to keep track of the time between Master’s visits, he just knew that they seemed to be closer together. Kazuya didn’t feel like he was being left on his own as often as he used to be, and he wasn’t sure what had changed. All he knew was that Master had been angry a lot of the time. And Kazuya knew better than to ask Master what had angered him.

As Master dressed himself, Kazuya simply lay on his mattress and closed his eyes. A thin string of a memory of Jin danced behind his eyelids, and he grabbed onto it with both hands, clinging on tightly for dear life. Something about a beach. Cold air whipping around him, but he didn’t care. Laughter. Was that what his laugh sounded like? No… It was different. Kazuya couldn’t put his finger on how he knew, but something deep inside of him told him that it was Jin’s laugh. The second he tried to push the memory further, tried to dig deeper so that he could maybe catch a glimpse of Jin’s face, the thread slipped from his hands and darkness surrounded him once more. He opened his eyes, accepting his fate of being back in the room that he so desperately wanted to leave. He heard Master’s footsteps heading towards the door in the floor, heard it opening, and he even heard it thud shut. But he didn’t hear the lock click.

A minute passed, and another, a few more, but still the lock didn’t click shut. Kazuya sat up and looked over at the door, a frown furrowing his brow. Master never left the door unlocked. Had he really forgotten, or was this just a trick? If Kazuya tried to leave, maybe Master was waiting to catch him. But what if he wasn’t? What if he could finally get out? If he waited for too long, Master might realise his mistake and lock the door again. But was potentially getting caught worth it? As much as Kazuya wanted to get out, he didn’t want to make Master angry again, he didn’t want to face the consequences of trying to leave. But he could get up and have a look, right? There was nothing wrong with just checking whether the door was really unlocked.

Once Kazuya had redressed himself with the little clothing that Master had given him, he began to creep towards the door. Each footstep was so soft that it was barely even audible, and he found himself holding his breath right up until he reached the opening. Letting out a shaking breath, Kazuya reached out with trembling hands and lifted up the door. When there was no resistance, his eyes went wide and he immediately looked down the hole and into the house beneath him. He couldn’t remember the last time that he’d been able to go downstairs. There had once been a time when Master would bring him down and bathe him in the bathroom, but Kazuya had lost that privilege a long time ago. Now Master just brought icy cold water up to him. 

Before he even had time to think about what he was doing, Kazuya found his fingers curling around the frame of the small door, lowering himself down into the hallway below. His legs flailed back and forth as he tried to find something to secure his footing onto before finishing his descent. Luckily, his feet found a sturdy chest of drawers at the side of the hallway and he firmly planted his feet down. Once he felt confident enough that he wouldn’t fall, he let go of the doorframe and quickly braced himself against the wall to stop his fall from making too much noise. He quickly hopped off the drawers, only sparing a passing thought to wonder what was inside of them. Luckily for Kazuya, he remembered where the stairs to get to the ground floor of the house were, and it didn’t take long for him to reach them. He noticed that it was very light in the house, and that the light all seemed to be coming through the windows rather than being artificial. As much as he wanted to stop and marvel at seeing sunlight for the first time in years, he knew that there would be time for that later. He pressed on, scurrying down the stairs as quickly and quietly as he possibly could. He could hear his heart pounding, the blood pumping loudly in his ears, and he felt like he was going to throw up. But he needed to keep going. He couldn’t stop. If he stopped, then Master might find him.

When Kazuya saw the front door coming into sight, he burst out into a sprint, barrelling straight towards the exit. The second his hand met the door handle, he began to pull at it, desperately trying to get the door to open. It wouldn’t budge. It was locked. As the realisation dawned on Kazuya, he began to panickedly look from side to side, looking for anything else that could get him out of the house. Maybe he could go out of a window? Maybe the key for the front door was nearby somewhere? There had to be _something_. He hadn’t come this far just to fail again. He needed to get out. He needed to see his mother, to see Jin. He needed to get away from Master. Just as he was about to run towards a nearby window, he felt a hand grab onto his arm. Kazuya’s heart sank. He didn’t even need to look to know that it was Master. The man had often told Kazuya that he rarely had guests just in case Kazuya decided to try to run.

“Tsk, tsk, and here I thought you were going to be a good boy now,” Master said with a sigh, wrenching Kazuya’s arm to force the boy to look at him. He saw the wide-eyed panic in Kazuya’s eyes, the way that the boy’s lips were slightly parted, his chest heaving with heavy breath as he searched Master’s face to try and get a read of the man. Unfortunately for Kazuya, Master had practised his poker face over the years, making sure that he wasn’t the open book that he had once been.

“I-I…” Kazuya began, knowing that there was no lie that Master would ever believe. They both knew what he’d been trying to do, and he knew that denying it would just get him into even more trouble. Knowing that, Kazuya did his best to compose himself, hiding behind the bravest face that he could manage to muster up, “I want to go home.”

“This _is_ your home, Kazuya,” Master replied sternly as he pulled the boy even closer to him. Kazuya’s face was barely a few centimetres from his face as he hissed, “You belong to me. After everything I’ve done for you, to give you this place, to keep you safe and loved, you should show me a little bit more gratitude.”

Somehow Kazuya managed to pull himself out of Master’s grasp, giving the man a shove in the process to try and get a bit of extra distance between them, “I don’t belong to anyone but me. I’m not yours, I never was, and I never will be!”

Within seconds, Master grabbed a handful of Kazuya’s hair, ignoring the boy’s cries and protests as he began to drag him towards the kitchen. With a strong push, he sent Kazuya crashing down to the floor, causing the boy to slide along the ground until he collided with a cupboard. Kazuya scrambled to try and sit up, but he was right where Master wanted him. Trapped in a corner with nowhere to go.  
“You owe me your life,” Master growled, delivering a swift kick to Kazuya’s ribs, “You would have nothing if it wasn’t for me. All I’ve done is show you love.”

“I can’t owe what you never gave,” Kazuya shot back, crying out as Master kicked him again and again. He tried his best to grab onto the man’s leg, only to quickly be shaken off once more, “And the love you gave was never love!”

“Stupid boy,” Master sneered, bringing his foot down onto Kazuya’s stomach, squeezing all the air from the boy’s lungs as he pinned him to the ground, “No-one else ever loved you, so I shouldn’t be surprised that you don’t recognise real love when you see it. If you just stopped fighting me, we’d both be so happy together.”

“I don’t want to be with you,” Kazuya choked out from between gritted teeth. As easy as it would be to believe Master after all this time, to make Kazuya’s captivity a little easier to handle, he wouldn’t do it. Master was wrong. Even if it was only Michiko, there was someone else who had loved him. No. It wasn’t just Michiko, Jin had loved him too. Kazuya knew that Jin had loved him before, even if the other had forgotten him by now. What he and Jin had before had been special, they had been through so much together. Kazuya just wanted to go back to Jin. Back to Michiko. Back to what his life was supposed to have been. He’d had dreams, ambitions. Everything was gone now. All that was left was Master.

“I don’t care what you want,” Master shot back, reaching down to grab a handful of Kazuya’s hair. He jerked the boy’s head backwards, letting his foot come away from Kazuya’s back just so that he could use his grip on the other’s hair to drag him up onto his feet. Honestly, this wasn’t how he had wanted to spend his life with Kazuya. If the boy would just accept his fate, and accept his love, then both of their lives would be much easier and much happier. Sadly, it seemed like Master still had work to do when it came to getting Kazuya to calm down and behave himself. He’d really thought that he’d been making progress. Kazuya hadn’t tried to escape in such a long time, and he’d been being such a good boy recently. It felt like they couldn’t take even one step forward without Kazuya doing something to drag them back to square one.  
Keeping a firm grip on Kazuya’s hair, Master began to drag him out of the kitchen and back towards the stairs. This behaviour couldn’t go unpunished, and Master knew exactly what he had to do in order to teach Kazuya a lesson. It was something he hadn’t wanted to have to do again, but Kazuya just had to keep pushing him to the edge, over and over. If he didn’t love Kazuya so damn much, he would’ve killed him by now. Really, sometimes Kazuya was more trouble than he was worth. And Master was going to remind him what happened to naughty boys who didn’t know their place.


End file.
